Archive for March, 2009

  • Men In Tights (Wrestlemania Turns 25) -- Mar 31st
    Twenty-four years ago today, the very first Wrestlemania took place in New York City’s Madison Square Garden. Vince McMahon’s super-hyped spectacle of excess was the first event of its kind...

  • Let’s Get It On (Earth Hour) -- Mar 27th
    The World Wildlife Fund could give two $hits about you having dinner guests over tomorrow night to celebrate your new job. They could care less if your kid just got a new Wii, if Grandma wants to read...

  • Cliff Claven Save Us (USPS In The Red) -- Mar 26th
    Citing last year’s high fuel costs and lower mail volume, Postmaster General John Potter lit a figurative bag of canine excrement on the stairs of Congress yesterday when he told a House subcommittee...

  • Under The Gun (Geithner’s Tough Gig) -- Mar 25th
    Being the United States Treasury Secretary is not all it is cracked up to be. Timmy Geithner took another (we’ve lost count) battering from Congress yesterday after requesting new resolution authority...

  • Wax On, Wax Off (New Jersey’s Brazilian Ban) -- Mar 24th
    After two women were hospitalized with infections following their bikini wax procedures, shrewd New Jersey state officials actually contemplated nixing the Brazilian practice statewide. Blessed by a moment...

  • Obama-tainment (Barack on Jay) -- Mar 20th
    Continuing a legacy of firsts, Barack Obama became the first sitting president to appear on late-night television. Last night, he dropped in on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. While some felt this decision...

  • The Most Wonderful Time of the Year (NCAA Tournament) -- Mar 19th
    The Men’s NCAA tournament tips off today and basketball junkies can finally tap a vein and mainline all the college hoops action they can handle. Nails will be chewed, high fives will be slapped...

  • It Takes Two to Make a Thing Go Right (Jenna Jameson & Tito Ortiz) -- Mar 18th
    He starred on Celebrity Apprentice. She starred in Philmore Butts Taking Care of Business. He pounds people for a living. She gets pounded by people for a living.  Mixed martial artist Tito Ortiz,...

  • Going Green (St. Patrick’s Day) -- Mar 17th
    Any saint can have a church, school or hospital named after them, but a day? You really need to have your $hit together for that. Only St. Patrick has the honorary distinction of having his life’s...

  • The Joy of Text (Kids and Technology) -- Mar 13th
    Holding hands while roller-skating, swapping mash notes in the hall, and sharing a milkshake are all so old-fashioned.  Nowadays, when students want to get a crush’s attention, they just fire...

  • Bad Company (Terrorist Watchlist) -- Mar 12th
    Our terrorist watchlist just hit 1 million names. That’s 712,000 more than we had in 2005.  While there were no reports of a confetti/balloon drop at the FBI Terrorist Screening Center, you...

  • Keepers of the Faith (Saudi Arabia’s Religious Police) -- Mar 11th
    Saudi Arabia’s strict adherence to Islam should keep Peapod from opening up shop there anytime soon. Earlier this week, a 75-year-old widow was sentenced by the Saudi religious police, the Mutaween,...

  • Phans Phrolic at the Mothership (Phish Returns) -- Mar 10th
    Hippies, longhairs, malefactors, burnouts, off-gridders, college kids and a few “funky bitches” crammed into the Hampton Coliseum (aka The Mothership) this past weekend to watch the Vermont-flavored...

  • Greatest Show on Earth? (Rush Limbaugh) -- Mar 6th
    Swaying between insightful and absurd, Rush Limbaugh rankles more fur daily on his radio show than Tommy Lee did backstage in all his years of touring with Motley Crue – that’s a whole lotta...

  • Shouldn’t We Ask Somebody First? (The Endangered Species Act) -- Mar 5th
    Don’t blow the dust off that bald eagle recipe just yet, Mr. Bureaucrat. In a move more obvious than original, President Obama overturned the Bush-era rule that made it easier for federal agencies...

  • In Da Bank (50 Cent) -- Mar 4th
    Next to Penny Marshall, the most famous person named after pocket change is Curtis Jackson, aka 50 Cent. The drug dealer turned rapper turned actor has a new video game coming out this week called “Blood...

  • Are These Sombreros Bulletproof? (Mexican Drug Cartels) -- Mar 3rd
    Used to be that the only concerns a gringo had when visiting Mexico was wondering if the unevenly-filled 25-cent Corona he was sucking down had been pissed in and whether or not the local donkey show offered...