Archive for September, 2009

  • Survey Says (Facebook Yanks Obama Poll) -- Sep 30th
    Facebook — the monolithic social networking site that allows users to post banal musings, log their every move, and upload hundreds of pictures of themselves holding their mouths open with their...

  • And The Assault Rifle Goes To (Machine Gun Social) -- Sep 29th
    Nothing says political fundraiser like a steaming plate of barbecue and the smoking barrel of an assault rifle. Who needs $1,000 per plate black tie dinners when, for only $25, you can squeeze off a few...

  • Here’s a Story (The Brady Bunch Turns 40) -- Sep 25th
    It was the show that taught us so many things: that it’s a bad idea to kiss a girl before inquiring whether or not she has mono; that just because the matador jacket fits doesn’t mean you’re...

  • Fools Rush In (Odom/Kardashian Nuptials) -- Sep 24th
    After meeting just four weeks ago, Khloe Kardashian and LA Laker Lamar Odom announced their engagement this weekend. Love at first sight? While big sister Kim was named number 20 of the “Top 99 Most...

  • Take One For the Team? (John Edwards’ Love Child) -- Sep 23rd
    Showing esteem for someone can sometimes be measured by one’s willingness to do them a favor. Maybe it’s covering for a coworker as they take an extended lunch, claiming your girlfriend’s...

  • Bustin’ Out Dead or Alive (Texas Jailbreak) -- Sep 22nd
    This past Saturday, Joshua Duane Barnes escaped from a prison medical facility in Texas by shimmying down a rope fashioned out of bed sheets. We don’t want to say security was lax, but it sounds...

  • Looks That Kill (Megan Fox in Jennifer’s Body) -- Sep 18th
    Hot chicks are as vital an ingredient in horror films as fresh shellfish are to a classic bouillabaisse. Today, Jennifer’s Body opens across the country starring Angelina Jolie-lite (just as hot,...

  • Surviving Survivor Again (Reality Hit’s 19th Season) -- Sep 17th
    Forget bathing and deodorant, lose the razors and toothbrush, and get ready to eat nothing but rice for the next 39 days. No, you’re not going to be a kabob vendor in Mumbai — we’re talking...

  • Get Back On The Train (Mickey Rourke Still Alive at 57) -- Sep 16th
    By now everyone is familiar with the sad tale of Mickey Rourke. Rich, famous, and just south of nucking futs, the thugged-out thespian nuked every single relationship he had in Hollywood before moving...

  • Choreographed Kanye? (MTV Publicity Stunts) -- Sep 15th
    The last time the MTV Video Music Awards (VMAs) were relevant, dudes were drinking Michelob Dry at a California Angels game while sporting Hypercolor shirts and Oakley frog skins. Today, the VMAs are more...

  • Obama, Interrupted (Joe Wilson’s Outburst) -- Sep 11th
    There is a slight possibility that the jackass that has been screaming “Freebird” at live shows all these years is none other than Joe Wilson, the Republican congressman from South Carolina....

  • High Voltage (Pam Anderson’s Electrician) -- Sep 10th
    You could almost hear the joyful cracking open of Old Milwaukee tall boys at the IBEW Local 11 yesterday when CNN reported that Pamela Anderson is dating an electrician. Given that the model/actress has...

  • Back Together Again (The Beatles: Rock Band) -- Sep 9th
    If you dig the musical stylings of four specific longhaired Liverpudlians, then today is your lucky day. The Fab Four’s re-mastered catalog, as well as their new video game, The Beatles: Rock Band,...

  • Love is On a Roll (Ludacris Car Giveaway) -- Sep 8th
    He’s beefed with Bill O’Reilly, taken umbrage with Oprah, and felt the pimp hand of Pepsi. But this past Sunday, Ludacris — the platinum-selling Southern hip-hop handicrafter —...

  • The Fantastic Voyage (Fantasy Football) -- Sep 4th
    The first thing that we think of when we hear the word fantasy is a case of airplane glue, a discreet group of pint-sized acrobats, and a large-breasted contortionist named Cherry from Yuma, AZ. After...

  • Mouse Meets Marvel (The Animated Acquisition) -- Sep 3rd
    Deciding they were tired of having rides only the “10 and under” set can appreciate, Disney announced earlier this week that they will be purchasing Marvel Entertainment in hopes of designing...

  • Doggone! (Oldest Dog Dies) -- Sep 2nd
    This past Friday, a female named Chanel died on Long Island. The bitch was 147 years old, had white whiskers, cataracts, and often wore a sweater. A beloved companion to her owners, the dachshund was 21...

  • Live Long & Smell Good? (Star Trek Cologne) -- Sep 1st
    Evidently, it wasn’t the size of Captain Kirk’s phaser that helped him score all that intergalactic strange. It was because he was doused in his own eponymous fragrance — Tiberius. Yes,...