TTP | Don’t Fear the Reaper

How great is Halloween? You have to love a holiday that involves the gluttonous consumption of sweets, vandalism as a consequence for not getting a free hand-out, and being able to finally dress up in your sister’s clothes and make-up without feeling like a total freak. Just kidding, gluttony is offensive. Whether carving a disturbing jack-o-lantern, forking an ex-girlfriend’s lawn, or blowing people’s minds with your creative costume, Halloween has something for everyone. Except, of course, for the poor bastards that think the holiday celebrates the occult.

noun.     1. The act of throwing rolls of toilet paper around trees and houses. This is often done by minors toward friends, neighbors, teachers, etc.   2. One of the cheapest and greatest imaginable thrills for a young kid in October.

Registered sex offenders in Texas are required to turn off their porch lights and are prohibited from having any exterior decorations between 5 p.m. and 5 a.m. on Halloween. Parole, probation, and police officers also make checks throughout the evening to make sure the sick twists comply. A far cry from back in the day when most pedophiles’ candy spreads rivaled Asian buffets in extravagance.  

Celebrity Costumes: Good, Bad, and WTF