TTP | Shrinkage
Winter Freeze -
January 8th, 2010
Robert Frost once wrote that the world would end in either fire or ice.
After a week that found most of the U.S. trudging around like the dude in Jack London’s “To Build a Fire,” the smart money seems to be leaning towards the latter—for now. How cold? Rumor has it that Britney is growing her bush back, “The Situation” is no longer flashing his abs, and cutie here is going to hold on to the ol’ soup strainer for a few more winter months. Be safe out there. And whatever you do, don’t get so caught up quoting Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth that you forget to pack your parka for Florida.
Yes, we know "global warming" means "climate change".
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Degrees Fahrenheit (-89 degrees C): the coldest temperature ever recorded. It was taken in Vostok Station, Antarctica in 1983. “Hey Lazarev … dare you to lick the flagpole!” |
In the depths of winter, I finally learned
there was in me an invincible summer.
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Albert Camus, 1957 Nobel Prize for Literature
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Cigarettes can kill you. Especially if you run shoeless outside in subzero-degree weather to grab your butts out of your car and realize you have locked yourself out of your home. Do you break a window to get in? Nah, just lay down on the porch until your roommate gets home.
Now That’s Cold!
| Donner Party | In 1846, a group of California-bound emigrants get stuck in mountains, resort to cannibalism, and give new meaning to the question, “Do you want a breast or a thigh?” |
| Uruguayan Air Force Flight 571 | A rugby team plane crashes in the Andes in 1972. Out of 45 passengers, only 16 survive the two-month ordeal. Ethan Hawke starred in the movie version, “Alive”. |
| Into Thin Air | Cocky climbing guides and their rich clients battle with mother nature and discover that she could give a sh*t about their egos, tax brackets, or what kind of car they drive. |
| Sisterly Advice | Denise Richards tells then best friend Heather Locklear to divorce Richie Sambora, then hops on the cat’s soul pole for a ride herself after the dust settles. |
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Other than a smoldering Butterball, nothing says “turkey’s done” like the minus 52 degree wind chill they had in North Dakota yesterday. Wait until February 5th and you can head to the theaters to shiver from the chills of Frozen. |
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