TTP | Fanatics!
Super Bowl XLIV -
February 5th, 2010
Some things in life just beg to be seen in person: the Temple of Artemis in Ephesus, the Taiwanese ping pong ball trick (shout-out to the lovely Sunny Wu), and the Super Bowl.
Just like the pilgrims in Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales traveling to see the shrine of Saint Thomas Becket, every pigskin devotee will have a story about what it took for them to get to Sun Life Stadium in Miami on Sunday. Some will empty their coffers for tickets and a lucky majority will get them comped by an evil corporate sponsor. Others will degrade, defile, and ditch their dignity just to take in the much ballyhooed brawl between the Saints and Colts for NFL supremacy.
Here’s hoping, for the sake of their quest, that the game does not disappoint.
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Twitter followers that Buffalo Bills safety Donte Whitner had prior to announcing on January 23rd that if he got 10,000 followers, he would give away a pair of Super Bowl tickets. Once he hit 10K, Donte added the rule that to win the tickets, a follower had to guess the exact score of the AFC and NFC championship games. No one did. Enjoy the game Donte, you dick! |
A little luck, a little timing,
and a lot of intestinal fortitude.
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Dion Rich,
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By 2006 at the age of 72, Rich had crashed 33 Super Bowls without paying for a ticket. He was photographed on the podium with Vince Lombardi and Pete Rozelle after the first Super Bowl and helped carry Cowboys coach Tom Landry off the field after Super Bowl XII.
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noun. 1. A person who sits in a seat that is different from the one noted on his or her ticket. 2. The type of gal you want to date if your back is thrown out.
In 1980, 32-year-old insurance salesman Barry Bremen posed as a line judge referee at Super Bowl XV. Bremen, known as “The Grand Imposter,” posed as an umpire in the World Series, a player in the NBA All-Star Game, and a PGA golfer—to name just a few of his successful ruses—before being found out.
By Any Means Necessary
| 2006 | A Canadian man was willing to let someone destroy his Oldsmobile in exchange for tickets. |
| 2007 | Jennifer Gordon sold ad space on her pregnant belly for two 50-yard line tickets. |
| 2007 | Sarah Spain offered to go to a game as a date provided her ticket was free. |
| 2009 | A Troy Polamalu look-alike, who is also a Steelers fan, offered to “bang your wife” for tickets. |
| 2010 | An unidentified 22-year-old male tried selling his testicle on Craigslist for Super Bowl tickets. |
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Since 9/11, the Super Bowl has been classified as a national security event. The NFL spends $6M each year for the nation’s most elite law enforcement agencies, surveillance, bomb-sniffing dogs, and EMT personnel during the game. The good ol’ days of sneaking in are long gone. So, unless you have tickets, watch the game at home in comfort. |
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