TTP | Shack-stash-tic!
Buried Booze Found -
February 9th, 2010
Some things aren’t so great to discover: the company is letting you go, the tickets you bought from the scalper are for yesterday’s gig, and that gal you’ve been dating with the Adam’s apple and unusually large biceps used to be a diesel mechanic named Kenny.
Other discoveries can be quite joyous like, say, finding seven cases of rare 100-year-old scotch and brandy left behind by Sir Ernest Shackleton and his crew during a failed Antarctic expedition in 1909. While the cases were discovered in 2006, they were so far embedded into the ice that they weren’t extracted until just a few days ago by a team of determined boozehounds calling themselves the New Zealand Antarctic Heritage Trust.
Nice work, dudes. Who knew exploring the Arctic could be so rewarding?
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$3,300
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Cost of a 2 oz pour from a bottle of The Macallan “Fine and Rare Collection,” 1926. We appreciate a good scotch, but the phrase “pissing your money away” comes to mind here. |
If I had not some strength of will,
I would make a first class drunkard.
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Sir Ernest Shackleton
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Yeah Ernie, leaving seven cases of booze behind is a good indicator you may have not had what it takes to have been a first class lush.
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Third Man syndrome
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noun. 1. A situation occasionally reported by survivors of traumatic experiences in the wilderness where the presence of an unseen being is felt guiding them along. Shackleton described this feeling in his book, South. Since then hundreds have come forth with similar reports.
The heavy breathing you heard coming from your girlfriend’s closet door while you had sex with her doesn’t count.
While alcohol can make us feel warm, it can also quicken hypothermia. After drinking alcohol, the blood flows into the skin, pulling blood from the organs and lowering the body’s core temperature.
Something to keep in mind on your spring break ski trip.
Valiant Efforts
| Vasco da Gama (1498) | Opened a direct sea route to Asia but never brought any significant trade goods back to India. Dude, a t-shirt? |
| Sir John Franklin (1845) | Mapped two-thirds of the northern coastline of North America before eventually perishing from various causes with his entire 129-person crew. |
| Charles Francis Hall (1871) | First serious attempt at reaching the North Pole, but the journey was plagued by in-fighting and incompetence. His death was attributed to poisoning by one of his own men. |
| George Mallory (1924) | Attempted to climb Everest and vanished into the clouds. His body was not recovered until 1999. Talk about your bush-league search parties. |
| Axl Rose (2008) | In hopes to reclaim his metal crown, takes a 13-year sonic journey, dragging along countless musicians and engineers, then releases Chinese Democracy. Phck! |
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Despite the tragedy of leaving behind some booze, the true story of Shackleton and his men battling insurmountable hardships and surviving is nothing short of miraculous. We recommend enjoying a single malt scotch and watching Kenneth Branagh in A&E’s production of Shackleton. |
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