TTP | Raise Your Game
Sponsor Tag -
April 12th, 2010
Chicks wear push-up bras and fake eyelashes. Your uncle Dale stuffs his Speedo® with a kielbasa. So why are you still answering to nicknames like “tiny” and “small fry?” Would being a bit taller boost your confidence? Would an extra inch or two benefit your relationship with your girl? LiftKits™ can’t pimp out your pisser, but you will definitely get a rise out of them.
LiftKits™ are height-increasing insoles that can add .75" to 2" to your height. Feel weird using them? Don’t. You know that shrimp Tom Cruise? The guy who has nailed the likes of Nicole Kidman, Mimi Rogers, Penelope Cruz, and Katie Holmes? Word on the street is homeboy doesn’t leave home without 'em.
So if you’re average height or shorter and want to rise to new heights, get some. Use coupon code TTP to get 15% off your purchase.
Tall guys: you know who to forward this to.
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$789
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Amount someone earns per each inch annually, according to a study at University of North Carolina – Chapel Hill. So a 6-foot person would earn $5,525 more each year than someone who is 5'5”. How diminishing! |
Short people got no reason to live.
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Randy Newman,
singer, songwriter, mean bastard |
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heightism
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noun. discrimination based on height, whether unusually short or tall.
Can someone please give Sammy Davis, Jr. a posthumous award? Dude was 5’3”, black, and Jewish, yet he made it big time in spite of it all. (Even with that whole weird eyeball thing.)
In 27 U.S. presidential elections since 1904, the shorter candidate has won only six times. In 1976, handlers for Jimmy Carter (5' 9") went to great lengths to prevent him from having to stand next to the taller Gerald Ford (6' 1"). Carter won the election by 55.2% of the electoral vote demonstrating that the shorter guy can prevail…with assistance.
Had They Used LiftKits™
| Napoleon Bonaparte (5' 6") | Would have been able to see better during the Battle of Waterloo. |
| Andrew Carnegie (5'6") | The urinals at Carnegie Hall would be normal height. |
| Paul Simon (5'2") | Never would have needed Garfunkel or made The Capeman. |
| Spike Lee (5'6") | Wouldn’t be so angry or look so lost in those Knicks jerseys. |
| Dudley Moore (5'2") | Would have nailed Bo Derek not just in the movie 10, but on the set too. |
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If you tower over the rest of us, congrats. If you want to gain some height without that painful limb-lengthening procedure, it's a no-brainer… Being only ass-high in the elevator stinks. Step up, get LiftKits. Use coupon code TTP to get 15% off your purchase. |
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