Archive for September, 2010

  • TTP | Full Metal Racket (A Queer Quandry) -- Sep 30th
    Call us crazy, but if we are rushing a tent full of terrorists under a hail of hollow points, we aren't going to care if the dude providing cover fire is into bearded clam or knows his way around a...

  • TTP | Happy Birthday, Killer! (Jerry Lee Lewis) -- Sep 29th
    Jerry Lee Lewis is 75-years-old today, and we know what you're thinking—isn't that the ole boy that buffed out his 13-year-old cousin? Sure is, but who cares? Dude is one of the wildest and...

  • TTP | Slim Shady (Mechanically Separated Delight) -- Sep 28th
    After a boisterous Saturday afternoon spent watching college football and quaffing down copious amounts of spirits, we inexplicably found ourselves at 7-Eleven at 2:00 AM. It was there we did something...

  • TTP | A Visual Deep Sea Feast (Sharktopus) -- Sep 24th
    Any great actor will tell you that slick sedans, killer homes dotting the globe, and a lengthy roster of past poked Playmates are mere trappings of hard earned success. What really matters is the work....

  • Money Changes Everything? (Zuckerberg’s Donation) -- Sep 23rd
    What happens when half the country thinks you might be an as$ hat? You pull an Al Capone and start handing out Christmas turkeys in the streets like there’s no tomorrow. If you're Facebook...

  • TTP | The Death of a Colonel (Mascot Missteps) -- Sep 22nd
    School mascots used to inspire, motivate, and invoke cheers. With public opinion shifting over time, some mascots now piss-off, irritate, and are the source of tears. Damn you, Stanford Tree! You are an...

  • TTP | Caff-Fiend? (The Red Bull Defense) -- Sep 21st
    Energy drinks are to be consumed by X Game enthusiasts and young crazy bastards willing to jump a rally car off of Long Beach pier. For the rest of us, the piss-flavored, peppy potations are a nice midday...

  • TTP | The Bread of Life (Jesus Toasters) -- Sep 17th
    For those who have dreamt of smearing preserves all over the Son of God's face, grab your butter knives, 'cause your day has come. Thanks to the radiated heat technology of the Jesus Toaster,...

  • TTP | The Slight of Longhand (Lost Art of the Pen) -- Sep 16th
    Created in 1938 when a drunken epileptic sneezed while journaling, cursive writing has found itself smack dab on the academic extinction list next to band and mash notes. That first part may be bullsh*t,...

  • TTP | A Poor Hire? (Bawdy Britney) -- Sep 15th
    Most dudes seeing Britney Spears gallivant around her house naked would feel like Clay Aiken walking through a Johnsonville brat factory... randy. Spears' former bodyguard, Fernando Flores, on the...

  • TTP | Fire in the Hole (Chilean Miners) -- Sep 14th
    Think you're having a sh*tty day at work? Today marks the 40th day that 33 dudes have been trapped in a collapsed copper mine in Copiapó, Chile. In spite of now having light and communication,...

  • TTP | Live and Let Laugh (Sponsor Tag) -- Sep 13th
    TTP delivers words beautifully arranged in sentences bound to dazzle, provoke, entertain and educate. Our good friends at Funny or Die deliver cutting edge, gut-busting comedy guaranteed to add considerable...

  • TTP | The Pangs of a Pugilist (Life and Times of Tyson) -- Sep 10th
    Going to prison for rape, nibbling Holyfield's ear, getting the "holy sh*t is that real?" face tattoo; all mere gaffes on  his path to righteousness. Mike Tyson's biggest regret?...

  • TTP | Catch a Buzz at the Rainbow (Before You Die) -- Sep 9th
    There are almost as many bars in Hollywood as there are hastily carved notches on all four of Chelsea Handler's bedposts. Some of these drinking establishments, however, are too ostentatious and highfalutin'...

  • TTP | Excitable Girl (Dames We Dig) -- Sep 8th
    She's a slinky, singing succubus made of equal parts cool, hot, and crazy. A gifted actress with a range wider than a ski lift bench accommodating Kirstie Alley and Carnie Wilson and a rock aesthetic...

  • TTP | Responsible or Reckless? (The Censoring of Craigslist) -- Sep 7th
    In the old days, a lonely fellow looking for companionship, interesting conversation, and a spirited face-sitting session could fulfill his quest by logging onto Craigslist. However, after ironically being...

  • TTP | D-List Dancing (Dancing with the Stars) -- Sep 3rd
    For those looking to get their fall fix of faux celebrities, retired athletes, and past stars sucking dry their last taste of the limelight, ABC has unveiled its cast for the 11th season of Dancing with...

  • TTP | Let the Pigskin Fly! (College Football Returns) -- Sep 2nd
    Sayonara baseball, so long golf, and don't let the door hit you on the ass, tennis. You bored us to tears all summer, and now we bid you a fond adieu. The first college football games of the 2010-2011...

  • TTP | A Hit in Spite of the Bombs (The F-Word) -- Sep 1st
    It's a tiny package of verbal dynamite made from four simple letters that, depending when used, can be quite explosive and/or polarizing. Whether used in exclamation, celebration, excoriation, or just...