TTP | Slide, Slide, Slippity Slide!

Speed and Ice  -

December 8th, 2010

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Few wintertime things are more joyous in a kid's life than tightly gripping the cold edges of a sled with wet gloves and challenging your friends to a downhill race of death.

Sure, there is no second place when it comes to having fun, but when you're out in front, kicking fate in the teeth with blinding speed, your peripheral vision a white blur—it's a thrill to think even the most proficient snowspeeder pilots have nothing on you.

The bumps and bruises from a poorly executed jump, red numb fingertips, damp muddy jeans? All badges commemorating time well spent battling the elements in search of adventure. It's winter time, folks. Drop the shovel for a few, seek out a hill, and get your inner kid on.

[Join the conversation about ... sledding.]

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Numbers

42.5%

Of the 230,000 sledding related injuries reported between 1997-2007 happened to children between the ages of 10-14, per the Center on Injury Research and Policy.

No percentage was provided for blue balls a teen gets sitting behind his buddy's hot older sister.

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Quote

And I thought that all those little kids are going to grow up someday. And all of those little kids are going to do the things that we do… But for now, sledding is enough. I think it would be great if sledding were always enough, but it isn't.

Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Words
smud
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noun.     brown or muddy snow caused by overuse and warmer weather.

Used in a sentence: Shadrach thought Sheena had sharted until Smedley pointed out it was just smud.

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Fact

How do Germans take something kids love and make it more fun? Simple, add booze and nudity. In Braunlage, Germany last year, 14,000 turned out for a topless 100 meter sled race between men and women.

"Hey, look! Turkey's done."

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The List

Choose Your Ride

Discs/Saucers Curled up around the edges like burnt pepperoni on a Tony's frozen pizza. These circles of metal and plastic can be bad ass if buffed down with a "non-caloric, silicone based kitchen lubricant." Otherwise, best for toddlers and little kids.
Inner Tubes Similar to the disc regarding visibility and control, these are softer when shooting over bumps and jumps. The downside? Unless you hold it up the whole time, your ass will be colder than an elf's in a North Pole out house. Good for large groups going down the hill at once.
Toboggans These beautifully made wooden sleds are curved at the front end and some can hold up to two or more people. Originally used by the Cree Indians for transportation in Canada, today you can find them between the duck boots and maple syrup in the L.L. Bean catalog.
Sled This classic metal and wood foot-steered contraption was as fun to ride on packed snow as it was frustrating to sink into fresh fallen powder. Pull the kids on a sidewalk or test your mettle on a steep, ice covered road.

We know Rosebud was good enough for Charles Foster Kane, but chances are ole Chuck wasn't ripping down mountains in deep powder and outrageous terrain.

Hop on a Hammerhead Sled and hold on for dear life. Helmet and life insurance not included.

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