TTP | Trenta!

Starbucks Goes Big  -

January 19th, 2011

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If you’re like us, you often find yourself walking out of a Starbucks bummed that you didn’t have the opportunity to spend more money.

Now, thanks to the greedy little sea hag from the Pacific Northwest, you can. Starbucks is debuting their new Trenta (31 oz.) sized drink in 14 states this week and plans to make it available nationwide this spring.

So do people really need that much caffeine? Who cares? This is America dammit. We like our food portions huge, flat screens wide and our Rascals with heavy-duty weight capacity.

[Join the conversation about ... Starbucks.]

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Numbers

87K

Different drink combinations that Starbucks claims they offer. Carl Bialik of the Wall Street Journal questions this number and how it was calculated. Starbucks did not provide the formula they used to reach the figure.

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Quote

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'

Conan O'Brien, talk show host/endurance whiner

Words
ristretto
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noun.     a type of espresso shot pulled five seconds sooner than the average espresso shot. It is slightly smaller but bolder in flavor.

The next time you get a smarmy barista, request a ristretto. Chances are he won’t know what it is, and you can be the snob.

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Fact

In March of 2011 Starbucks will be celebrating their 40th anniversary. One of the ways they are marking their continual growth is by changing their iconic siren logo. Some customers are not thrilled with the decision. Starbucks, however, has gotten used to logo controversy over the years.

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The List

Starbucks Changes We'd Like to See

Lose all check-out counter trinkets – gum, books, CDs, mints, stuffed bears, etc. Where are we, a Hell’s Kitchen bodega or a coffee shop?
Change out your unsold pastries every week or so. Paying a lot for aged scotch? Good. Paying a lot for aged donuts and croissants? Who ordered the venti ass-whipping?
Better grooming habits by the baristas – look, we’re all about self expression at TTP, but if we’re paying $4.00 for a cup of coffee it’d be great if you made sure your nose ring was clean.
Go back to writing names on the cups of your customers when they order. The next person twelve people behind us in line that grabs our iced coffee in the middle of summer is getting stabbed.

Starbucks is like dating a high maintenance chick. You wanna move up a cup size? No problem. Want to broaden your offerings and spread yourself out too thin? Bye bye baby.

Anyone can drink out of a green and white paper coffee cup. Distinguish yourself!

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GD Star Rating
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TTP | Trenta! (Starbucks Goes Big), 9.7 out of 10 based on 6 ratings