Archive for April, 2011

  • TTP | Save the Turtlenecks? (Cleanliness or Cruelty) -- Apr 29th
    There are very few places a dick hasn't been shoved in San Francisco. Now it appears they may be poking their purple heads into the Fog City's voting booths. An anti-circumcision group has...

  • TTP | Out of this World (Space Ace Turns 60) -- Apr 27th
    Normally most dudes in seven-inch leather heels with a face full of makeup aren't a big priority at TTP HQ, but when homeboy is Ace Frehley, you can bet your KISS Army Zippo we enjoy pouring a glass...

  • TTP | The Real Deal (Sponsor Tag) -- Apr 26th
    There are three things a man should never do: Pour ketchup on a perfectly good steak, trust a proctologist wearing a kilt and buy anything without first consulting dealnews.com. Heralded by both PC...

  • TTP | Hazarding a Guess? (Butt Ban in 2020) -- Apr 25th
    In the old days smoking a cigarette was a classy way to spend a moment or two in personal introspection or engaging in important conversation. People back then could fire up a butt anywhere, at any time...

  • TTP | What a Card! (Donald Trump) -- Apr 22nd
    Donald Trump saying that he may run for president in 2012 is much like Rosie O'Donnell announcing she is thinking about being the next Hustler Honey. It's absurd, preposterous, yet just intriguing...

  • TTP | Toasted Tots! (Casual Dining Indeed) -- Apr 20th
    All the years we spent trying to score booze with fake IDs as teens, and now casual dining restaurants like Applebee's, Olive Garden and Chili's are gassing up toddlers like Nic Cage down on the...

  • TTP | A Right Done Wrong? (Hoosier Education Reform) -- Apr 18th
    School vouchers are a lot like edible underwear: they're a dynamite idea on paper, but if not executed wisely by the right individuals can end up being a hot, sticky mess that leaves a bad taste in...

  • TTP | The Greatest College Weekend (IU’s Little 500) -- Apr 15th
    For most college students a week of non-stop boozing, baking and boinking would end with a handful of Bayer, an icepack on the crotch and a Gatorade. However, if you attend Indiana University it is...

  • TTP | Loser’s Lunch (Office Food Theft) -- Apr 13th
    Depending on your occupation and the exigency of your workload, sometimes the only bright spot of your day is lunch. Going out can get old and isn't always financially viable, and taking your lunch...

  • TTP | Illegal Motion! (Fan Violence) -- Apr 11th
    You don't need to be an HVAC technician to know some sports fans truly blow. In fact, some are beyond foul and have no balls. Take, for example, the unidentified, cowardly thugs that mercilessly...

  • TTP | The Great H2O Swindle (Bottled Water) -- Apr 8th
    We were meeting with our Iraqi sister publication, The Left Hand, earlier this week when the envoy in the meeting asked for some water. When our receptionist returned with a glass full, he was shocked...

  • TTP | Rock City Rocked! (Detroit) -- Apr 6th
    Don't let the poets fool you; there is no romance in death. Especially when it is a cruel and lengthy fade. Nowhere is the pain and devastation of loss in our own lives better physically represented...

  • TTP | Are You Spittin’ Me? (MLB Smokeless Ban) -- Apr 4th
    Sadly, in this great country of ours the word "ban" is more than just a deodorant. In order to battle the rising popularity of smokeless tobacco (ST) among teenagers, MLB Commissioner Bud...

  • TTP | Might as Well Jump! (Mako Misfortune) -- Apr 1st
    Don't let the razor sharp teeth, dorsal fin, and attraction to bloody water fool you: sharks have feelings too. In fact, they can be pretty deep. Apparently the stigma of being perceived as a man-eating...