TTP | Props for Padre!

Happy Father’s Day  -

June 17th, 2011

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This Sunday is Father's Day, a day to call, shoot a card, or spend some quality time with the trigger man who blasted you into this world.  

Provided you didn’t turn out to be a total loser, you may even want to give your father a pat on the back for a job well done. If you still managed to become a complete ass bag, take some personal responsibility. You can’t hang everything on the old man.  

Of course, it’s a two way street. Not everyone had a great dad, father figure or mentor in their lives. In that case, be in the future to your kids what you didn’t have in the past. Oh, and put the five bucks you’re saving on the card towards a delicious Half Acre Daisy Cutter.

[Join the conversation about ... Father's Day.]

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Numbers

11

Number of children ex-NFL player Travis Henry has fathered with 10 different women.

Some folks are better at certain things than others. Like say, football or the withdrawal method.

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Quote

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

Bill Cosby

Dude, we speak for the collective when we say "bring back the Pudding Pop."

Words
garboflage
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verb.     to hide a piece of your kid’s artwork under other garbage in the trash can so they don’t bust you throwing it away.  

Used in a sentence: Ralph tossed a used coffee filter and leftover goulash on top of Macy’s macaroni art in order to expertly garboflage it.

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Fact

While the concept of Father’s Day was introduced by Sonora Smart Dodd decades earlier, it wasn’t signed into law until 1972 by President Richard Nixon.

Nixon’s greatest feat? Tapping Elvis as a Federal Agent-at-Large in the Bureau of Narcotics and Dangerous Drugs in 1970.

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The List

Some Great Dad Advice

1 Avoid those who leave that last sip at the bottom of their beer.
2 Take your time mowing the lawn. Your wife might have some other stuff for you to do.
3 When betting the NBA, don’t waste time on research. Pick a team, anything can happen.
4 If you’re going to let yourself get fat, at least wear cool clothes and footwear.
5 Always be a gentleman. Never be a cheapskate. Call your mother at least once a week.

If you have a great dad, be sure to call him Sunday. If you don’t, remember, it could be worse. You could be Tatum O’Neal.

Hook your dad up with some hardware.

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