TTP | Smoke & Mirrors?

Cigarette Labels  -

June 22nd, 2011


Smoking's bad for you, folks! Had it not been for a new picture of a dude's trachea ripped open, we would have never put two and two together.

Back in the day, cigarette ads featured doctors and Hollywood movie stars puffing along happily. Hell, even the Marlboro man could fire up a stump mid-stride while outrunning a pack of pygmies through the jungle. That's all history thanks to the FDA.

Starting in 2012, graphic photos warning of the dangers of smoking will be on each pack. When can we expect lighters to have a mechanical arm that, when flicked, bitch slaps the cigarette out of our mouths.

[Join the conversation about ... cigarette labels.]




Of high school students smoke cigarettes.

Slightly fewer wear their mothers' dresses and high heels to school.



Happiness is the smell of a new car. It's freedom from fear. It's a billboard on the side of the road that screams reassurance that whatever you are doing is okay.

Don Draper explaining happiness as it relates to advertising in Mad Men

Ah, the whimsy of the 1960s (insert phlegm-producing hacking cough here).


verb.     to advise against.

Used incorrectly: "Dissuade?" Robert asked, touching the jacket.



Wayne McLaren, David McLean and Dick Hammer not only appeared in Marlboro ads, but all three also died of lung cancer. This earned Marlboro Reds the unofficial moniker "cowboy killers."

We have also decided our hotel alias from now on will be Dick Hammer.


The List

Other Labels We'd Like to See

Italian Salad Dressing Picture shows: A man throwing his dress pants out of his car window while driving. Text reads: Go ahead, see if you can make the commute home in traffic.
Happy Hour Draft Beer Mugs Picture shows: A hideous looking woman with warts and a moustache lying on a bed. Text reads: Yep, you did her. Want another draft, Romeo?
Pizza Boxes Picture shows: The perspective of a man looking down at his bare gut. Text reads: Don't forget the extra cheese. Some chicks actually dig fat bastards.
Tattoo and Piercing Parlors Picture shows: A senior citizen with tats on his face and a ring in his nose. A young child runs from him, screaming. Text reads: Good thinking, grandpa.
Canned Ravioli Picture shows: A teenage kid cutting himself in his room. Text reads: A home cooked meal would have let him know you gave a sh*t.

Are we siding with the tobacco companies? Absolutely not. After decades of them wooing people to an early death we hope these new labels save some kids from picking up a bad habit.

But, if this works, be ready for the flood gates to open on all questionable products.

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