TTP | Quite a Stretch?

Yogasms  -

September 30th, 2011

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Yoga, the ancient Indian practice of posing the body, has been around since the first guy got caught trying to blow his own horn. “No really, Sanjit, I'm just stretching.”

Thousands of years later, people are still digging on the physical and spiritual discipline and keeping tiny foam mat salesmen in business. So what’s new with something so old? Some women are claiming to reach orgasmic sensations while practicing yoga. The name for this phenomenon? Yogasms.

This is great news if you’re a lonely gal and dig contorting yourself, or extremely helpful if your bird digs yoga and you can’t get her to blow her stack in the rack. We say bravo, ladies, do your thing!

[Join the conversation about ... yogasms.]

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Numbers

75%

Of women never reach orgasm solely from intercourse. Who are these poor gals? We’ve never met them.

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Quote

When a woman reaches orgasm with a man she is only collaborating with the patriarchal system, eroticizing her own oppression.

Sheila Jeffreys, scholar/activist and clearly NOT into dudes

Pretty heavy sh*t, She-Ra! We like to think when a woman reaches an orgasm we’re at least good for three more dates or a little road head.

Words
philonoist
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noun.     one who seeks knowledge.

Used in a sentence:  As a philonoist, Phil enjoys yoga because it allows him to attain tranquility and self awareness. Oh, and watching Kimber quiver with her eyes rolled back in her head is pretty cool too.

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Fact

Marilyn Monroe claimed she never achieved orgasm by any of her famous lovers (John F. Kennedy, Frank Sinatra, Joe DiMaggio, etc.). Clearly JFK did it for his country, Frank did it his way, and Joe’s bat was better at hitting baseballs.

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The List

TTP’s Favorite Poses

The Inverted Scorpion You have to be especially strong and — SURPRISE — limber to pull this off. 
The Pondering Freakshow Sometimes a fella needs to sit down, think and blow out his knees.
The Sh*t Head Remarkably easy.  Simply put your ass on top of your head.
The OBGYN "I can take it from here, doc."
The Good Time Suzie Two words… "Marry me?" 

Dear yoga practitioners, chill. We’re just having a little fun regarding the physical badassery that you are able to achieve.  

That being said, we look forward to trying yoga, as soon as we can touch our toes.

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TTP | Quite a Stretch? (Yogasms), 9.2 out of 10 based on 9 ratings