Archive for November, 2011

  • TTP | Foster the Fatties? (Govt. Guts Gormandizing) -- Nov 30th
    If a third grader weighed over 200 pounds when we were kids, we just made fun of the poor bastard until he beat the sh*t out of us, shot up the cafeteria or slowly came to the realization that pudding...

  • TTP | A Punk Named Suh! (Ndamukong Amok) -- Nov 28th
    It’s a ferocious, full-tilt sport played by steel nerved gladiators. The athleticism is breathtaking and the hits are bone-crunchingly brutal. But what makes the game so engaging is that it is “normally”...

  • TTP | Jive Talkin’ Turkey (Thanksgiving) -- Nov 23rd
    Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and that means three things: Eating well, drinking thirstily and finally getting to screw in the ole turkey suit again. That may sound a little silly until you’ve seen the...

  • TTP | “Aggressively Unpalatable” (Malört) -- Nov 21st
    To experience a shot of Malört for the first time is to recall fielding a pop fly with your balls... the pain lingers long after the actual event while every onlooker is doubled over with laughter. Conceived...

  • TTP | Bosom Buddy (Russ Meyer) -- Nov 18th
    If you’ve ever doubted the adage "do what you love and success will follow," look no further than patriot, visionary and tit man Russ Meyer (1922-2004). Virtually ignored by Hollywood...

  • TTP | DC Blues!?! (Political Futility) -- Nov 16th
    Discussing politics with good friends while drinking is like wearing a wool coat to the movies. In the beginning it seems like no big deal, but soon it gets uncomfortable and heated and you end up spending...

  • TTP | Idle Threats? (Gaming Gone Wild) -- Nov 14th
    Far be it from us here at TTP to issue a controversial blanket statement like all adults who play video games are losers. Nope, that wouldn’t be fair. Instead we’ll put the number at a strong...

  • TTP | Pain Song (Darrell Hammond) -- Nov 11th
    Without question there are numerous characteristics required to endure the occasional agony associated with the human condition. Perhaps three of the most critical are courage, perseverance and a good...

  • TTP |Vitiated Valley (Sandusky) -- Nov 9th
    What have we learned from Penn State Football over the years? Age doesn’t hinder one’s ability to helm a winning football team, some of the best uniforms in sports are the simplest, and if...

  • TTP | Beans Sans the Gas (Jelly Belly) -- Nov 7th
    We recognize four food groups at TTP HQ: Steak, sushi, potatoes and corn syrup laden confections. However, when it comes to candy, not just any will do. In fact, we’re snobs. Only Jelly Bellys...

  • TTP | Uncanny! (Bra Betterment) -- Nov 4th
    For most men, they’re an afterthought, something hastily tossed on the floor or out the window of a fast moving Greyhound before the joy of juggling commences. For women, they’re something...

  • TTP | Prankster of Love? (Kim Calls It Quits) -- Nov 2nd
    Kim Kardashian is like a sled dog’s healthy dump on a Koyukuk sidewalk: steaming hot, yet repulsive. As anyone in our solar system now knows, the unskilled siren and her silicone-stuffed pooper...