TTP | Beans Sans the Gas
Jelly Belly -
November 7th, 2011
We recognize four food groups at TTP HQ: Steak, sushi, potatoes and corn syrup laden confections.
However, when it comes to candy, not just any will do. In fact, we’re snobs. Only Jelly Bellys populate the office candy jar (formerly the swear jar, but we started running out of bread for afternoon beer runs).
Smaller, cooler, more colorful and offered in a myriad of flavors, Jelly Bellys are like a souped-up Mini compared to the regular jelly bean's Plymouth Reliant K. Jelly Bellys are also fat free and are a dynamite sexual lubricant. Wait, that’s KY.
[Join the conversation about ... Jelly Belly.]
|
5
|
Times the world could be circled by all the Jelly Bellys that were eaten last year. Distance all the eaten Root Beer Barrels would stretch from last year? One and a half miles on the New Jersey Turnpike. |
Yes, I regret the day I came up with them. I really do. Why? Cause it has ruined my life.
 |
|
|
David Klein, creator of the Jelly Belly
|
 |
David Klein has been extirpated from the company’s history on their website. His story is told in a critically acclaimed, must-see documentary.
 |
belly flops
|
|
noun. irregular Jelly Bellys that are stuck together, misshapen or have some other aesthetic defect.
Belly flops are saved and sold at the Jelly Belly outlet store and online.
In 1967 Ronald Reagan began eating jelly beans to help him kick his pipe smoking habit. Jelly created the blueberry flavor so red, white and blue Jelly Bellys could be handed out during Reagan’s 1981 Presidential Inauguration. Over three tons were consumed.
Past and Present Flavors
| Pickled Pigs Feet | Skunk Spray | Moldy Cheese |
| Bloody Mary | Canned Dog Food | Ear Wax |
| Tabasco Cinnamon | Pencil Shavings | Booger |
| Roasted Garlic | Rotten Egg | Jalapeno |
| Baked Bean | Baby Wipes | Mai Tai |
 |
It may not make much sense eating such ridiculously overpriced candy in such sour economic times, but we’ve figured out a way to make it work within our budget… we’ve decided not to send our kids to college. Get your sugar rush today. |
loading...
