TTP | Jive Talkin’ Turkey

Thanksgiving  -

November 23rd, 2011

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Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and that means three things: Eating well, drinking thirstily and finally getting to screw in the ole turkey suit again. That may sound a little silly until you’ve seen the Indians and pilgrims we have coming over to enjoy our horn o’ plenty.

While we’re fantasizing, how about a full-on feast with all the trimmings, where the ladies cook and do all the cleaning while we get comfortable on the couch with a cold beer and settle in for the games? Oh wait, that IS going to happen. God bless America! Life is good indeed.

[Join the conversation about ... Thanksgiving.]

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Numbers

248M

Approximate number of turkeys raised for slaughter in 2011 per the Department of Agriculture. Barack Obama will be pardoning only one.

Wow, even his poultry approval rating blows.

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Quote

Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty.

Michael Dresser, columnist

Words
beholden
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adj.     obligated, indebted, grateful.

Used incorrectly in a sentence: Smelling marijuana in the club, LaDarius asked Marquis who beholden?

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Fact

In 1863, U.S. President Abraham Lincoln declared Thanksgiving Day a national holiday. In 1941, President Franklin Roosevelt established the holiday to be the fourth Thursday of November. A short time later, the phrase “F*ck, I have to work Friday” would be echoed throughout the country.

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The List

TTP Thanksgiving Traditions

Bloody Marys morning of while determining how much to lay down on the Lions game.
Saying we’re “doing great” to all extended family who in turn say they’re “doing great.”
Pretend we’re hearing Uncle Stu’s jokes for the first time then actually laughing, again.
Being bummed we’re so full that we have no room for pie, then powering down a piece anyway.
Massaging the wife’s shoulders while she cleans, then excusing ourselves to go take a nap.

We here at TTP have much to be thankful for this holiday season and want to thank you, the readers, for rolling with us.

Be safe, have fun with your loved ones and “save the neck for me, Clark!”

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TTP | Jive Talkin’ Turkey (Thanksgiving), 9.1 out of 10 based on 7 ratings