Archive for December, 2011

  • TTP | A Green Christmas? (Real Trees) -- Dec 21st
    Christmas trees are a lot like one night stands: Picked up with eager anticipation, whisked home to be admired and enjoyed, and then hastily tossed out the door once they have been used. All that is left...

  • TTP | Been Caught Stealin’ (Shoplifting Snafu) -- Dec 16th
    What’s the best way to make a mink smell like a skunk? If you’re Stephanie Moreland, you shove it into your underpants. When cops first strip searched the porcine pilferer, they assumed...

  • TTP | Earache Eradicated? (Commercial Volume) -- Dec 14th
    We’ve all been there: Roaring fire, threadbare dame beneath a bearskin rug, the soft sounds of Monday Night Football wafting through the surround sound, then just before she gets the tip... An...

  • TTP | Pass the Kool-Aid (Tebow) -- Dec 12th
    It would be preposterous, even blasphemous to say that God has any kind of interest in the NFL, but there is no doubt that Jesus has more than a couple of Tim Tebow posters in his room.  In another...

  • TTP | A Classic Misread? (Reindeer Games) -- Dec 9th
    If you listen closely you can hear Burl Ives blowing mud in his casket. Yes, some pussified psychologist is desecrating the 1964 holiday classic, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer television special,...

  • TTP | A Cold, Hard Profession of Pain (Enforcers) -- Dec 7th
    Whether or not you’re a hockey fan, you know the guy. He’s the towering ruffian whose battered mug is a patchwork of pride, punishment and professionalism. He’s the brute on blades there...

  • TTP | McJustice!?! (Burger Beatdown) -- Dec 5th
    Attention all gangsta bitches looking to pass a fake fitty in a Greenwich Village McDonald's: If you jump over the counter in a violent rage looking to assault the cashier who questions the authenticity...

  • TTP | Bad Religion (Prejudice in the Pews) -- Dec 2nd
    Welcome, friends, to Gulnare Freewill Baptist Church, a place of love, compassion and... holy sh*t, who let the interracial couple in? Uh, heh, heh, no big deal folks, no big deal, just seems a might unnatural...