TTP | A Classic Misread?

Reindeer Games  -

December 9th, 2011


If you listen closely you can hear Burl Ives blowing mud in his casket.

Yes, some pussified psychologist is desecrating the 1964 holiday classic, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer television special, by saying it promotes bullying. We say recockulous! Yes bullying is wrong, and sure Santa was kind of a dick in this particular holiday special, but let’s not get too carried away.

If we learned anything from Rudolph, it’s that freaks of nature should be shunned unless they can really bring something significant to the table… like, say, saving Christmas.

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Cost of each of the original puppets used in the stop motion animation feature. Each puppet was made out of wood, metal and fabric. Numerous copies were made of each, as they were fragile and wore out quickly. Some are still in existence today.  

Yeah, we know, who gives a sh*t?!



Political correctness does not legislate tolerance; it only organizes hatred.

Jacques Barzun, French-born American scholar and teacher


noun.     banter, jesting, joking, ribbing.

Used in a sentence: Calling Jolene “Crooked Tits” Lambramowitz was merely friendly raillery by some seventh grade boys hoping to someday suckle from her ample (albeit unsymmetrical) bosom.



While the Christmas special debuted in 1964 on television, the actual story of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was created by Bob May, a copywriter in Chicago, in 1939 as a sales gimmick for Montgomery Ward.


The List

Other Incendiary Interpretations

Scooby Doo Blatantly blasts the intellect of the middle-aged by having the gang solve every case involving adult criminals. Also depicts intelligent lesbians as only wearing orange.
Mickey Mouse Clearly the Anti-Christ. Instead of crosses, kids wear mouse ears. They sing songs about Mickey and cheer for him during park parades.  Is that a stuffed Mickey Mouse, or an idol?
Oscar the Grouch An obvious knock on the homeless that subsist by dumpster diving. His dour mood is an indirect representation of the false belief that only the wealthy can be happy.
Little Einsteins These four smartasses not only think they’re intellectually superior to everyone else, but they illegally commandeer a red rocket ship and jam to classical music.
Ronald McDonald Oh sure he looks like a clown entertaining obese children as they stuff themselves with burgers and fries, but he is obviously a haunting homage to John Wayne Gacy.

Ask any bully or roughneck why they do what they do. If they say they learned to be a thug from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, then we’ll give this crackpot theory a pass.

Other than that, forget the reindeer, just rock the sled.

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