TTP | A Green Christmas?
Real Trees -
December 21st, 2011
Christmas trees are a lot like one night stands: Picked up with eager anticipation, whisked home to be admired and enjoyed, and then hastily tossed out the door once they have been used. All that is left are a few warm memories and a sticky discharge all over your hands and clothing.
Sounds callous and wasteful until you realize that live Christmas trees are recyclable and biodegradable, whereas artificial ones made in China are loaded with metal toxins and anti-American sentiment. We say go live, buy American!
[Join the conversation about ... Real Trees.]
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350M
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Christmas trees are currently being grown in the U.S. Thirty-five to forty million are cut each year. For every real tree harvested, one to three seedlings are planted the following spring. It takes the average Christmas tree seven years to grow. |
Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.
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Larry Wilde, The Merry Book of Christmas
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ludicrous
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adj. 1. absurd, ridiculous. 2. this guy (spelled Ludacris).
Used in a sentence: Calling a Christmas tree a "holiday tree" is as ludicrous as calling a Hanukkah menorah a "holiday candle holder."
Christmas trees reduce dust and pollen in the air, provide a habitat for wildlife, and one acre of them produces the daily oxygen requirements for 18 people.
“She’s a beaut, hand me that band saw!”
Timeline of a Tree
| Selection | You can use a complex algorithm combining height, width, species, cost, frequency of watering, mode of transportation home — or — just get the one your wife likes. |
| Transport | Most strap the tree on the roof of their vehicle with bungee cord, twine or rope. We like to roll all windows down and have each family member hold a branch. |
| Placement | An enjoyable mix of “Oohs, aahs!” and “Dammit, you just knocked all the antique thinga-mabobs off the credenza.” |
| Decorating/Trimming | A time of joy and lively discussion: “Where are the lights we used last year? How did this ornament break? This is the last year we’re doing this.” |
| Disposal | Tossed into the dumpster in the back of the alley, dragged into a neighbor’s yard at midnight or taken to a recycle center where it is turned into mulch for the spring. |
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Celebrate the holiday of your choice in the manner that you please. We’ll be sipping some gassed-up eggnog with family and friends amidst the glow of our Christmas tree. It’s been a great year. Thanks for rolling with us. We’ll see you in 2012! |
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