TTP | Never Mind the Bollocks?
The Perverted Pacu -
January 10th, 2012
The next time you’re thinking about donating to a foreign charity, please consider the ball-less fishermen in Papua New Guinea.
Jeremy Wade, the host of TV’s River Monsters, recently wrangled a tooth-filled, testicle tearing, 40 pound Red-Bellied Pacu fish dubbed the “the ball cutter” by the tropical country’s indigenous anglers.
Damn, and we thought the scariest aquatic monsters were the crabs in Madonna’s hot tub.
[Join the conversation about ... Perverted Pacu.]
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700
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Approximate number of languages spoken in Papua New Guinea. "Pardon me, what did you say?" |
Fishing, with me, has always been an excuse to drink in the daytime.
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Jimmy Cannon, sports journalist (1909-1973)
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orchidometer
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noun. a medical instrument used to determine the size of the human testicles.
Used in a sentence: Forgetting it was his anniversary, Ted, an endocrinologist, passed his orchidometer off to his wife as an exotic necklace.
In the 1990s as a part of FISHAID, 14,000 Pacu fish from Indonesia were released into lakes and rivers in Papua New Guinea as a food source.
“Sure they’ll eat your balls off if given the chance, but you wait until you cook 'em up.”
Why So Teste?
| Testicles manufacture man’s primary hormone, testosterone. |
| Your balls need to breathe. Tight clothing can cause them to overheat, hurting sperm production. |
| Nuts are incredibly sensitive. All novice ball-handlers should proceed with caution. |
| Staying healthy keeps the ole stones healthy. Fatty foods hurt the production of testosterone. |
| The chance of a man getting testicular cancer is 1 in 270. |
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Don’t we have enough sh*t to be afraid of these days? A ball-scarfing fish? Did you hear that? It was us taking a Sharpie and marking fishing in Papua New Guinea off our bucket list. TTP has gone to a Tuesday/Thursday publishing schedule. See you Thursday. Thanks for rolling! |
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