TTP | The Year of the Dragon
2012 -
January 4th, 2012
It’s a brand new year, folks! If our resolutions remain intact, by June we’ll be thinner, healthier and (according to the ad) longer and thicker.
What are your personal goals? Gain a deeper sense of spirituality, swear less, read more? Maybe you’d like to be nicer, work harder and stop being an insufferable, politically correct douchebag? (Wait, not our readers.)
No matter your goals, resolutions or pursuits for 2012, remember this… if you really want to do it — really, truly and sincerely want to do it — you CAN do it. Provided, of course, that the Mayans are wrong.
[Join the conversation about ... 2012.]
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20%
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Of those who make New Year’s resolutions have the same ones each year. Let’s hear it for our politicians in Washington. |
The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.
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Michael Altshuler
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Please disregard the above quote if you are on death row, live in China or are Ozzy Osbourne.
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abnegate
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verb. to relinquish, give up, reject, renounce.
Used in a sentence: A long time smoker, Coffy McHacklin decided to abnegate tobacco in 2012.
January was established as the first month of the year by the Roman calendar. The month is named after the mythical god Janus, a two-faced figure who can look forward to the new year and backwards to the old.
Hooray, it’s your first who gives a sh*t fact of the year.
TTP's 2012 Predictions
| Leisure suits make an unlikely comeback. |
| Peyton Manning retires from the NFL, gets Bruce Jenner-like rhinoplasty. |
| Rosie O’Donnell’s talk show cancelled in favor of dead air on Oprah’s O network. |
| Audiophiles ditch vinyl and start claiming cassette tape has the purest sound. |
| Ralph Nader runs as an independent in the presidential election… wins! |
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Forget your mobile devices and computer software. When it comes to calendars, only old school paper will do. Happy New Year, folks! Thanks for rolling with us! |
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