Archive for February, 2012

  • TTP | Stoopid Skool Roolz? (Educational Edicts) -- Feb 28th
    As if the salary didn’t suck enough, legislators in two states are making it much easier for college graduates to decide not to go into teaching. Arizona lawmakers are proposing all language...

  • TTP | Purging Potations (Cleansing) -- Feb 23rd
    Few things are more maddening than laboring in the kitchen to prepare a nice meal only to have your dinner guests proudly proclaim, “No thanks, we’re on a cleanse.”  “I...

  • TTP | Unencumbered Slumber (PolarPillow) -- Feb 22nd
    Other than a cold fish, a warm pillow is one of the worst things a person can sleep with. When it comes to being a contributing member of society, a good night’s sleep is a necessity. Sadly,...

  • TTP | Take a Load Awphanny! (Sitting) -- Feb 21st
    The same group of brilliant researchers that discovered getting off your ass and exercising is good for you have now delivered another jaw-dropping bombshell to the medical community... Sitting for...

  • TTP | Give a Hoot! (Littering) -- Feb 16th
    Yesterday we witnessed three extraordinary acts: A pedestrian hustled across the crosswalk, the Indian kid at Subway was generous with our sandwich toppings and some dude tossed his empty coffee cup into...

  • TTP | Hearty, Har, Har! (Valentine’s Day) -- Feb 14th
    It’s Valentine’s Day, which means if you’re 14 you’ll be giving your sweetheart a teddy bear tonight in hopes that she’ll let you feel her up at the Cineplex. With some...

  • TTP | Wino-myte! (Two Buck Chuck) -- Feb 9th
    Used to be that the only thing we found more difficult than not offending someone at a dinner party was trying to figure out what wine to take. Then 10 years ago Charles Shaw wines hit the shelf for...

  • TTP | Lap Dances for Losers? (Money for Nothing) -- Feb 7th
    “Hey, everybody! We got the welfare check. Forget food, clothing and other essentials... let’s go grab some ass.”  That’s right, while you were out busting your hump trying...

  • TTP | Heavy Metal Moolah! (Gold) -- Feb 2nd
    As the nation precariously approaches economic collapse, we here at TTP rest easy upon our towering stockpile of highly liquid and highly valuable Beanie Babies. Of course, we’ll need something to...