TTP | The Father, Son and Wait… Who Invited This Idiot?

Pat Robertson  -

March 27th, 2012


When it comes to religious zealots, one of our very favorites is Pat Robertson. The twisted televangelist is funnier than a Chinaman’s haircut and just as wonderfully offensive as the previous terminology.

Whether stating that Haiti was hit because God didn’t vibe with their voodoo or that Katrina crushed New Orleans because God isn’t down with bare boobs for beads, Robertson’s delusional diatribes continue to baffle and delight.

Pat’s latest: If Peyton Manning gets injured playing for the Broncos, it will be because God was upset with how the team treated Tim Tebow.

Pat, you idiot, God is a Jets fan — he willed this trade to happen.

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Annual viewers are treated to Pat and his peerless television program. The 700 Club is shown in over 100 countries and broadcast in dozens of languages.

What does this mean? Millions of people in over 100 countries have said “What a jackass!” in their native tongue.



Feminism encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.

Pat Robertson

C’mon, Pat, destroy capitalism?


adj.     outrageously disgraceful or shameful.

Used incorrectly in a sentence if a man’s name was Probious and he was having sex with a vocal lover: “Opprobious!”



Pat used to play poker. Thanks to his website, his followers can breathe a sigh of relief knowing he now lists his favorite parlor game as “none.”

Parlor games: The gateway activity that leads to men wearing mutton chops and leather breeches.


The List

Things We Look Forward to Hearing from Pat

“Mickey Mouse is the Antichrist.”
“Farting is the sound of the devil laughing at your poor dietary choices.”
“Eating bananas while watching Spartacus causes homosexuality.”
“The best tube socks are sold by Mexican vendors standing at intersections.”
“The Jews created fibromyalgia.”

Pat has written a number of books regarding faith, finance and the new world order, all of which have been panned by God.

This book, however, has been getting rave reviews.

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