TTP | Open Season in Texas?
Huntin’ a Legend -
May 10th, 2012
One of the great things about the USA is the ability to freely travel throughout the country. However, if you are a sasquatch you may want to keep your furry ass in the Pacific Northwest.
You see, it’s not just illegal immigrants that Texas doesn’t cotton to. They also hate all fictional hirsute, anthropoid-like mammals with big feet.
In fact, if you catch Bigfoot snooping around on your land in the Lone Star state, it is perfectly legal to blow his head clean off. If Bigfoot just so happens to be homosexual and looking to marry his partner in Texas, you are encouraged to napalm that immoral sonofabitch.
Figure it out, sasquatches! There is only one Chewbacca* and you ain’t him. Don’t mess with Texas!
[Join the conversation about ... Huntin' a Legend.]
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191
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Total Bigfoot sightings reported in Texas per the sound group of individuals who make up the Bigfoot Field Researchers Association. |
My whole motivation has not been to convince anybody of the existence of the animal, but to convince them that there’s a body of evidence begging for further consideration.
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Jeff Meldrum, Idaho State University professor, regarding Bigfoot.
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Pass the dutchie to the left hand side, broseph!
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cryptid
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noun. an animal, plant or creature whose existence has been proposed but never proven.
Used incorrectly by a Los Angeles cop investigating a gang shooting: "At first I thought a Blood committed this crime, but judging by the wall tags it looks like a cryptid."
A work crew claimed to have found Bigfoot tracks in Bluff Creek, CA in 1958. When one the crewmen, Ray Wallace, passed away in 2002, his children came forward with two huge wooden feet that their father had used to make the tracks.
Other Things That May/May Not Exist
| A violence-free game of Monopoly. |
| A tip from Scottie Pippen. |
| A Nickelback fan with a college degree. (DeVry, clown school and ITT Tech do not count.) |
| A Muslim with a sense of humor. |
| A firm decision made by Mitt Romney. |
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Does Bigfoot exist? Hell, anything is possible in Texas. Hey, who wants to go dancing at Sasquatch? *Yes, we know Chewbacca is a wookie. |
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