TTP | Sacked!
The Nutty Aggressor -
May 22nd, 2012
The purpose of the scrotum is to protect the testes from dramatic temperature change, thus promoting optimum sperm production.
If you’re Crimson Tide fan Brian Downing, you also believe the ole dick duffle is a vital component when celebrating a BCS Championship. Instead of shaking pom poms and cheering, Downing, 32, forced the aromatics of his fumunda cheese onto the face of a passed out LSU Tiger fan.
Now the once YouTube "sin"sation is in heavy litigation after being identified in the video. To that we say, "Hooray!" Here is hoping Brian gets his bank account drained and his pendulous pals stay backed up and blue in jail.
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$1M
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Estimated cost for Wesley Warren, Jr. to have his 100-pound scrotum operated on. Warren suffers from scrotal lymphedema, or what nurses call, "Holy sh*t!" |
There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum. It's breathtaking. I suggest you try it.
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Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)
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contumelious
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adj. insolently abusive and humiliating.
Used in a sentence: While Lance dreamed of having a stranger's nuts on his face, Billy found the act contumelious.
Some studies have found that the left testicle hangs lower in right-handed men and the right testicle hangs lower in left-handed men. Handedness is linked to cerebral asymmetry, and there is some suggestion that testicle size and position are too.
“So, son, whatcha studying at college these days?”
A Mixed Bag
| Scrotal Stretching | Another amazing double standard here: Dudes don’t want their gal's boobs to sag, but some want their scrotum to look like a tube sock holding two billiard balls? |
| Scrotal Piercing | For the body modification enthusiast, this procedure makes about as much sense as having your rectum sewn shut, but hey, free country. Free, creepy, frightening country. |
| Scrotal Tattooing | Neck tattoos are so passé. Want to prove you’re a real tough guy? Ink up the sack-o-reeno. “Let’s go with a 14-color, 18th century mural piece here.” |
| Scrotal Parlor Tricks | Finally something fun and lighthearted on this list of bag bruising behavior. Lame magic trick not wowing the in-laws? Show 'em the flying squirrel. |
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If you’ve seen the video of Downing defiling the passed out LSU fan, you can’t help but think to yourself, "What happened in this dude’s childhood to cause him to be an Alabama fan?" But seriously, folks, nut sacks are for sharing with consenting adults — anything other than that is truly criminal. Now THIS is a change purse! |
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