TTP | Remember Me?
A Murder Postponed -
June 21st, 2012
There are three types of people you don’t mess with: Insane chicks, outlaw bikers and dudes with long memories and a profound hatred of ball stank.
Carl Ericsson, 73, was sentenced to life in prison last Friday for fatally shooting Norman Johnson, 72, on his front porch earlier this year.
Did Johnson rape Ericsson’s wife or kill a family member? Nope, Ericsson’s motive was far more shocking. You see, 50 years ago when they were in high school, Johnson pulled a jockstrap over Ericsson’s head and he never forgot about it.
Of all the people NOT to get Alzheimer's.
[Join the conversation about ... A Murder Postponed.]
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$65,000
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Average cost of annual healthcare for an elderly prisoner in the U.S. The cost for a young prisoner is $27,000. Healthcare? Jesus, these guys get a free @#$%&+^ iPad too? |
I’ve had a few arguments with people but I never carry a grudge. You know why? While you’re carrying a grudge, they’re out dancing.
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Buddy Hackett (1924-2003)
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pertinacious
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adj. holding tenaciously to a purpose, course of action, or opinion; resolute.
Used incorrectly in a sentence: When asked why the tour rider had been changed, Sebastion said, "Pertinacious D."
The original jock strap was invented in 1874 for bicycle jockeys who rode over the cobblestone streets in Boston. Today, Bike is still the leading manufacturers of jock straps.
Old School Beefs
| Our Parents and Teachers | Telling us we needed to learn how to do calculus, physics, science, and history. We’re doing just fine writing this e-mail newsletter, thank you. Not really. |
| Milt Kipley | Trading us one Dan Pastorini football card for five of our Terry Bradshaw cards, claiming Pastorini was a "diamond in the rough" and also played Apollo on Battlestar Galactica. |
| Kip Dinkus | Lying to everyone at Shelly Urnoff’s birthday party, claiming that he made her birthday mix while it was we who chose all the songs, but used his double cassette deck. |
| Fern Tippler | For sharting in the car on the way to prom, then insisting we turn around and go home, thus missing the 120 proof spiked fruit punch that had everyone dancing their asses off. |
| Babette Flint | Saying she’d showered after horseback riding all day in the heat right before we went down to "yodel in the valley." We want our eyebrows and nose hair back, Babette! |
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Grudges are far too heavy and hard to carry. Settle it then, or grow up and move on. Did we say carry? Do it in style! |
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