TTP| Wrangling with a Gimmick?

January 16th, 2013

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Do your Levi’s leave you high and dry?  Does your denim have skin drying venom?  The brain trust at Wrangler certainly thinks so.  (You know Wrangler…the jeans that nobody wears save for people west of the Mississippi and Bret Favre.) 

Used to when you wanted moist jeans all you had to do was dry hump your high school sweetheart on the basement loveseat.  Now, Wrangler is coming out with moisturizing jeans for women.   

They're called Denim Spa Jeans and come in three different styles:  Aloe Vera, Olive Extract and My Water Broke.   Actually, the third choice is called Smooth Legs.    Lame?  Better than jeggings.

[Join the conversation about ... Jeans.]

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Numbers

13B

Amount of money Americans spend annually on jeans.

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Quote

If my jeans could talk, I would be embarrassed.

Brooke Shields, actress/former Calvin Klein model

Brooke, if you could smell our jeans, we'd be embarrassed.

Words
bedew
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verb.     1. To wet with or as if with dew.

Used incorrectly in transcribed lyrics for a doo wop song:  Do bedew bedew. 

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Fact

The Wrangler brand is owned by the VF Corporation headquartered in Greensboro, NC.  The company also owns Lee, JanSport and The North Face brands.  

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The List

Jeans TTP Would Like to See

Talcum Tossers

Small C02 pouches that blast talcum powder on your under carriage to avoid chaffing when free-balling.

 

TeePee Breathers

Stretch fabric  five inches off both sides of the zipper for random wood.  No longer will you have to, “damn your torpedo.”

 
Bleacher Bums

Similar to carpenter jeans, the hoops on BB’s  hold two beers on each thigh so you can carry a pretzel and eat your nachos.

 
No Stank

Crotch lined with scent activated baby wipes and dryer sheets for those who refuse to wash their jeans, lest they lose color.

 
     

Too often companies and designers feel the need to use denim as a canvas for their poorly conceived ideas on what is already a classic garment. 

Lotion soaked jeans for the ladies?  Whatever.  At least they'll come off faster. 

 

 

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TTP| Wrangling with a Gimmick?, 8.7 out of 10 based on 3 ratings